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How long should it take for me to get past the death of my mother? - badly twisted bowel

My mother died suddenly 7th January at the age of 50 years. She was planning for 22 months in the hospital, but was home for almost a year and will be better.

He entered the hospital because they suddenly and dramatically lost weight and had stomach pains. It turned out that a change in his gut he was doing, had his malnourished and do not allow you to absorb the medication for his thyroid.

Doctors completed drug overdose in the thyroid and in a state of non-response and then a coma. Over time it became stronger and the doctors said he should improve. Also turn in your gut that the doctors had to correct.

It was very low, and the dOctors had planned to send a rehabilitation center in the spring. He entered the hospital again, because they had an obligation and a good amount of pain. The doctor gave him an enema did not work. He got up and had planned to feed the other morning. She later died of a heart attack in the evening.

My life turned completely upside down. Not only did my mother, but my best friend too. She loved to travel around the world. She wanted a grandmother. I wanted to get a job. This just seems wrong. It was better and would eventually die suddenly. It does more harm than at the start. I cry every night. To eat M having a hard time. I can not even goodchange memories. All this makes me mad. I mean, I know that one day she would be dead, but no one should die at the age of 50.

What can I do to make this easier? It seems to work hard and to my friends, because everyone than its fair share of life. I do not know what to do.